7 Ways to Be a Good Stepmom
Most fairy tales and movies have painted a devilish picture of step-moms. They are always pictured as the ones manipulating situations and being selfish. In real life, step-moms can be very loving and nurturing just like real moms. Here’s how you can break the myth of an evil step-mom and create a bond with your stepchildren.
1. Talk to your stepchildren openly
Don’t expect your stepchildren to come running into your arms from the day you get married. Stepchildren are likely to think that you stole their father from their mother. You are bound to face resistance and angst from them. Sit down with your stepchildren and have a chat with them about the intricacies of all the relationships involved. Make them understand that you are not their real mother’s enemy but a new member to the family.
2. Plan weekends and holidays with your stepchildren
If your husband’s ex wife has the custody of your stepchildren, you can plan to take them out for weekends and holidays to strengthen your bond with them. Do something that they would enjoy and cherish. A weekend getaway can be an instant ice breaker and your stepchildren will appreciate that you are making efforts to bond with them.
3. Attempt to be on talking terms with your stepchildren’s mother
Every relationship has a different context for breaking down. So it may not be very easy for you to instantly be on talking terms with your husband’s ex wife. For the sake of your stepchildren, take an initiative and make a start to build bridges with their mother. You may be able to reach an amicable level with her and this might result into a happy ending for everyone.
4. Stop mothering your stepchildren all the time
Face the fact that you may never be able to totally replace the role that your stepchildren’s mother plays in their life. Don’t attempt to start nagging, be physically cozy or advise your kids like a biological mother would. Instead of trying to fit in somebody else’s shoes and being the maternal figure, be yourself and attempt to be friends with your stepchildren.
