7 Things To Consider Before A Divorce
5. Single Parenting
Single parenting sounds like a bold term which has been highly popularized by several movies lately. But in reality, do you think single parenting is a cake walk? Irrespective of whoever gets the custody of the child, playing both father and the mother can take a toll on your personal and social life. Readjusting to a single life after being married can be tiresome. Bringing a change in your lifestyle will be tough as a nut. Imagine the guilt trip you will go through if in spite of being a single parent, you start dating someone or go for night outs with colleagues. In every single step you take, answering your child is going to be critical. ‘Starting all over again’ is way more difficult than it sounds.
6. Open Conversation
Very often, emotional hang ups of couples do not allow them to communicate openly or even clearly identify what are the exact reasons they are separating for. The decision of separation cannot result due to a small incident of anger or reaction, which unfortunately, is always the case cited by most of the couples. Have an open mind and list out answers to important questions: ‘Is there anything we can do to mend this?’, ‘If our goals and values are fundamentally different, how can we find a middle path?, ‘Is it just sexual frustration that is leading to our separation?’ and so on. The key is to ask questions that will offer positive and reassuring answers.
7. Views of others
It’s very likely that you know other couples within your family or elsewhere who have gone through divorce or separation. Call them up and have a chat with them regarding the stress and emotional whirlwinds they went through in that phase. And it is likely that they too will advise you against separation – due to all the problems that you may have to face. As it is said- it is better to learn from other people’s mistakes and experiences rather than going through all of them yourself. You cannot afford to have an unstable mind when you are at such an important juncture of your life. Sit with your spouse and literally make a list of all your priorities in life and take stock of where you want life to go. Think of the situation keeping your pre and post divorce life in mind and then take a rational decision. However, if your spouse abuses you physically or emotionally and you have been living in constant fear, then you should seriously consider divorce and attempt to make your life a better one.
Do realize that your decisions and thoughts will affect many other people. And on a positive note, sincere apologies, true love and healthy negotiations can heal any scar.
