3 Tips to Avoid Ego Clashes With Your Boyfriend
Your experiences have made you the woman you are. But when you are in a relationship you often have to learn to accept the other person’s point of view as well. Simple as it sounds, this has sunk many a Titanic than a single ice berg ever could. Arguments and fights are parts of any relationship. But when you are waiting for him to make the first move after a fight, or he is waiting for you to talk first, your relation-ship (pun intended) is dangerously close to being hit. The ice berg in this case: an ego-clash! While becoming a door mat for the sake of saving a relationship is the worst thing that could happen, knowing the pit falls of an ego clash is a must to keep your relationship healthy. Here’s three ways how to avoid ego clashes with your boy friend.
1. Be honest in assessing an ego-clash
After a fight almost always, you seem to remember where your guy went wrong. But when it comes to remembering where you went wrong, the memory becomes foggy. It’s a normal human tendency. But once you calm down, try and rewind the whole fight in your head. Think why you fought in the first place. Be honest in assessing. It’s hard, but it’s worth all the pain. Once you are through, talk to him.
2. Don’t blame to make things worse
Even with the best of intentions, many end up having another fight while trying to resolve one. Most men have this tendency to think whoever talks first gives in. So, he may act smug and try to flaunt his imagined victory on your face. And this might make you mad all over again. Beware ladies! Now is the time to talk your mind. Don’t let him bully you. Be seated. It’s very important to feel comfortable before you start talking. First tell him where you might have been wrong. Then tell him what you find unacceptable. Try and begin it this way – “I think…”, rather than “You always…”. The fact that you are not blaming him will make him less defensive. He’ll know you are not up for another fight. All guys appreciate a sensible talk than nagging and blaming.
3. Analyze what are the real reasons behind an ego clash
Sometimes, even after many talks, you seem to have never ending fights. We all like to be in love and don’t want to let it go. But when the fights become a pattern, it’s time to think. Are there other issues involved? Is there distrust, or disrespect at play? Do you or your guy secretly feel inferior or wronged? Lovers who are in sync will not have ego issues. And those that keep on having them even after best of efforts made, usually have deeper problems. If the relationship is worth saving, solve those issues first. The ego clashes will vanish, or at least, become less.
